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aring for our elderly is an exhausting task requiring much patience and love. There is a lot of work involved in caring for those advanced in age. Some you may know about, some you may not have considered.
Caring for the elderly is a full time job. An elderly person is not safe left alone, much like a small child. This means when you want or need to go somewhere, they go with you. This can be very frustrating if you are used to an active lifestyle. A good option is to get someone to 'baby-sit' while you shop or see a movie. This will allow you some free time, and the elderly person feels good that others want to visit with them.
Things will get messy when you are caring for an elderly person. There are diapers, cleanings, and showers, and other hygiene issues. If they can't...you must. Think about how, when, who and how often when making your arrangements.
If you are working in the triple generation situation, you have your work cut out for you. Dealing with kids, parents, grandparents and spouses, not to mention other family, co-workers, boss', etc, you will have a big mess in no time. It doesn't have to be that way. Add your elderly person in gradually, without changing everyone's life. Also, don't try to keep kids away from their elderly relatives. It causes anger in the kids and confusion in the elderly person. They just might enjoy little arms around their necks.
1. You cannot take care of another until you at first properly take care of yourself. Get sleep, eat well, take time for your needs and wants. Give yourself permission to take a break.
2. You are repaying an honest debt. Your parents and grandparents have cared for you, loved you, provided for you and hoped for you. They deserve that favor to be returned.
3. Never do or say anything to another person, especially a child or an elderly person, that you would not want said or done to you. The golden rule is a good rule.
Getting your loved one involved in activities will be the best thing for both of you. Call the nearest Area Agency on Aging to find the Senior Centers and Senior Day Care Centers nearby, and learn about enrollment and schedules. It may take a lot of coaxing and compassion to get your parent to step out of their comfort zone of being at home and to consent to go to Day Care where they don’t know anyone. Remember that any type of change can be extremely frightening for elders. The Day Care professionals are very familiar with this problem and will help you. Ask one of the administrators to call and talk to your parent a few times to develop a relationship before going.
Take your parent out for lunch and when they are in a good mood, casually stop by the Day Care to say hello to that administrator. Have an appointment set up so you can take a tour, meet the other seniors and staff, and reduce some of the anxiety. Encourage your loved one to attend no matter how much they protest. They may hate it at first, saying that everyone is too old, it’s too much effort, or they just don’t like it-but don’t give up. Eventually they’ll make new friends and look forward to all the activities. The pressure on you to entertain them will be drastically reduced.
If they cannot physically attend a Senior Center, you can hire a companion to come in and visit with them on a regular basis. This person can read to them, watch a movie, take them out for a walk or a ride, play a game, or talk about the old days, etc.